Alone with your thoughts can be a scary place to find yourself in. Scary, lonely, a maze to get lost in, an adventure to seek, a vocal silence, or a much needed sense of peace – easy to get into but to crawl back out will take a feat.
It’s where I found myself in the short getaway that I went to. And in it, I found solace. In it, I found that it was where I needed to be, if only for a while.
In that place, you’re allowed to breathe. Nothing pushing to get in to your thoughts, nothing clogging in your mind; heart left untouched – at least from the outside. But inside – oh, inside, where emotions are set to motion, and feelings take charge, to breathe can also mean to suffocate.
It can mean letting yourself be vulnerable to memories unfolding in your mind, leaving old wounds tear themselves open and doors to push themselves ajar. But through the long, winding journey towards the unforgiving seas of past, of moments both whispering forgotten truths and singing the beautiful lying false, there awaits the horizon.
It’s the line seen from afar, separating the loudness of now from the wonders of the still; the pandemonium of rough, fierce waters from a world full of bright, blinding clarity.
A place like that entails a journey. One that you travel alone, at the pace that you choose and a time that is right, before you are finally – finally – ready to come back out.
Writing this post, I knew it wouldn’t make much sense to anyone reading – anyone who’s not me, that is. But this post was one that I knew I had to make. I had to share, even as I, myself, struggled to get the words through. Words don’t come easy – not even to those who love the beauty of them. But there are times when words flow out on their own and make themselves.
This is one of those times.
And though I’ll be more than glad to interpret them and lay them out easy to read, I’m also pretty stubborn on just letting them be – free for one to make sense of on their own. So here it is – part two of the seven part series that I will be posting everyday on the blog for the rest of the week!
See you tomorrow, In sha Allah. With love, Iween.